Sick of Goodbyes
I heard the alarm go off at the usual time of six o’clock. I grudgingly peeled the old, white sheets away from my body. Mornings are always hard for me. I feel as if I am constantly reminded of my emptiness. My apartment is empty, my wallet is empty, and worst of all my heart was empty.
It was only a few months ago when everything left me. And everything, specifically he, never came back. I looked for him everywhere. I looked around corners and down allies. I watched people get out of taxis. I watched people watching me. He was never one of those people. I never found him. I got out of the shower and rubbed away the fog covering the mirror. It reminded me of when we would get ready in the mornings together. I would rub off the fog the same way and discover his beautiful face smiling back at me in the mirror. I would give anything to see his face in the mirror now.
I grabbed my winter coat and cracked open the heavy, wooden door of my apartment building. The brisk air sent a chilling sensation down my spine. I carefully climbed down the steps in my new, favorite shoes. They were gorgeous, grey suede heels that made me feel amazing. Like no one would ever want to leave me. I got to the bottom of the steps, and then I thought of the last time I saw him. I was wearing my ugly, worn down boots. Maybe if I was wearing my heels, he wouldn’t have wanted to leave. I hugged him as tight as I could, hoping that he would never be able to pull away from my grasp. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, and turned around and got in the cab. After I thought about this, I ran back into the building and struggled up the many stairs in my heels. I took a can of red paint out of the closet. I smashed the mirror that reflected so many of our memories. I took the paint and let out my emotions. I stepped back and the mirror read SICK OF GOODBYES. I sank to my knees and began to weep, something I had never allowed myself to do. All of the sudden I realized I knew he was never coming back. The emptiness inside me was 
full. I had to move on.
full. I had to move on.
No comments:
Post a Comment